It is deeply
rooted in our mentality and we are doing it in our minds all the time.
Good
and bad,
Rich
and poor,
Happy
and sorrowful,
Healthy
and sick,
Good
luck and misfortune,
My
life and your life.
As a
Chinese, I grew up with a competitive education, full of personal comparison. "Look
at the neighbour! How smart he is." "Oh, Esther, you should really
learn from her." All this good advice was crowned with good intentions.
How I needed to strife hard to earn a sense of security of my value.
Therefore, I
dislike comparison even in the context of someone telling me I am doing better
than someone else.
However,
there's nothing wrong with comparison itself as this is how we learn about the
world and get our knowledge categorised.
But what if
my comparison only brings me self pity and a victim role?
"Look
at the others. Lord.
Why am I,
the daughter of Almighty Creator suffering endlessly?
Seriously! Look
at them and look at me! My tears, my insomnia, my sickness, my
shamefulness...do you really care? Do you really know what's going on here?” (v
11)
Psalm 73
said, the psalmist entered the Holy Place of The Lord and he was being
enlightened (v 17). He admitted he was a fool yet he knew God was with him (vs 22-23).
And, he wrote a completely different comparison.
What a
change! What a clarification!
So, I
prayed--
May I enter
your Holy Place and examine my life in your view, Lord. May I hold peace and
strength towards the ends of my life even if I might seem to be like a loser to
the others. May I abandon the illusion of happiness but choose wisely the narrow path that leads to
eternity. Amen.
Esther Schouppe
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